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Teaser EXT. SUNNYDALE CEMETARY - NIGHT BUFFY is seated on a gravestone, wearing a familiar-looking leather coat, reading a rather crumpled paperback book. WILLOW (OS) Hey Buffy. I come bearing paper bags. BUFFY [closing up the book and smiling at Willow] Will. Thank you. Paper bags. My favourite. BUFFY takes one of the bags from Willow and looks cautiously inside. WILLOW [sitting down beside Buffy on the gravestone] What's wrong? BUFFY Just checking. No, nothing moving. Sorry Will. Old habits die hard, I guess. WILLOW I'll have you know these fries are the static variety. The all-singing, all-dancing ones were way over my budget. BUFFY There were...oh. I am just going to eat my fries right now and not suffer the humiliation of finishing that sentence. WILLOW [pointing to the book] Is that - BUFFY [nodding] Mm hm. You wanna hear some? WILLOW nods. BUFFY [reads out loud from the book] ...She sat there wrapped in the darkness, unaware that behind her he was slowly advancing... [As she reads a vampire appears behind them. The words she reads are echoed by the actions of the vampire, although Buffy and Willow seem completely unaware of any of this] ...His black, twisted frame towered over her. As he leaned in closer to the golden hair that fell in an effulgent mass... WILLOW Effulgent? BUFFY [smiles] Oh yeah...that fell in an effulgent mass over her slender shoulders, he was overwhelmed by the scent of blood coursing through her veins. He took a shuddering breath, anticipating the kill. Suddenly she whipped out a stake and drove it through the very core of his being, like a bolt of lightning shot through his heart...[As Buffy reads this she herself takes out a stake, and, without turning round, dusts the vampire behind her]...He gave an anguished cry and crumbled at her feet...[She pauses, and turns back to Willow]...I mean, can you believe people actually buy this stuff? End of Teaser Act I INT. BUFFY'S BEDROOM - MORNING The sound of an alarm clock ringing is heard. Pan down from the alarm clock to BUFFY, lying in bed. She opens her eyes reluctantly, half lifts her head, turns to look at the time and with an exasperated sigh shuts her eyes again and rests her head back on the pillow. FAMILIAR VOICE (OS) I say we lose the alarm track, pet. BUFFY That's the plan ... [mischievously] ...soon as my arms start working. FAMILIAR VOICE (still OS) I'll do it, shall I? We see a "sort of compact but well-muscled" arm reach across her and the camera pans down to reveal SPIKE (who else!) He raises himself up on one elbow and as he reaches across to turn off the alarm stoops down to kiss Buffy on the mouth. He remains propped up on his elbow and smiles down at her. BUFFY Mmm...you know something? SPIKE What? BUFFY reaches up to wrap her arms around his neck. BUFFY Think I remember how to work my arms. She pulls his head down towards hers. At this moment DAWN enters, flinging open the door impatiently. DAWN Hell-o! Excuse me. Now is so not the time to be swapping enzymes. BUFFY Dawn, how many times have I told you to knock? DAWN About as many times as I just knocked. BUFFY You knocked? Which door? DAWN [exasperated] I do not have time for this. I am leaving for school in five minutes, with or without you. And remember I am not the one with the license. She turns and leaves the room. BUFFY [to Spike] Do you think that was my cue to get up? SPIKE Tell you what, love, you stay here, I'll take the Little Bit. BUFFY You're very sweet, honey, but I don't recall any story starting 'one sunny morning' having a happy ending for your kind, do you? SPIKE Hey, c'mon, what's a barbecue moment to a man on a mission? One flame-grilled vampire, one Dawn safely delivered to the school gates on time. It's a fair deal. BUFFY [getting up] You know what? [She moves off screen as she gets dressed] Save it for a rainy day. Overcast. Clouds. Non-sunlight-y weather types only. SPIKE I could always take the shadowy route. BUFFY [laughing, as she pulls on her leather jacket] I am going, alright? OK if we take the bike? [She leans across to kiss him] Oh, and Spike...[she nods her head towards the paperback book on her bedside table]...enjoy the killing spree. INT. WILLOW'S FLAT - MIDDAY WILLOW is sitting at a computer, surfing the net. BUFFY enters. BUFFY Hey Will. WILLOW Buffy. How goes it? BUFFY Good thank you. It is looking very nice in here, Willow. WILLOW And one housewarming party coming up very shortly, really it is. BUFFY Did I say anything about a party? WILLOW I kinda got the subtext. BUFFY That was just your conscience speaking to you Will. I mean look at it, the place is begging for a party. WILLOW I and all the furniture got that subtext. BUFFY [laughs] Anyway, anything I should know? WILLOW No, it's very quiet right now. Oh, I got an e-mail from Giles though. BUFFY Giles sent an e-mail? There you go, it's never too late to master the art of modern technology. What's he say? WILLOW You know Giles. All sex, drugs and rock'n'roll. [She grins] Seriously? He wants to know if Spike and I are maintaining his high standards and says we can all come and visit as soon as we've purged Sunnydale of its less desirable inhabitants. BUFFY I think the de-demoned Sunnydale is a little way off yet. If that's what he meant...I mean, vampire, past loser of library books...which would you take out? [She grins] And you're sure there's nothing else to report? No suspicious deaths? Unusual tooth work? WILLOW Like I said, all is calm. BUFFY Which in the Guide to Sunnydale in-speak translates as somewhere not too far from here there is gonna be a storm brewing. INT. DILAPIDATED BUILDING Three vampires are sitting around a heavy-looking pot filled with a dark liquid. One of the vampires pours something into the liquid from a tall, yellow glass bottle. As he does so the other vampires start to chant. A thick vapour rises from the pot, causing the chanting vampires to splutter. INT. SUMMERS' HOUSE - AFTERNOON SPIKE, wearing reading glasses, is sat at the table in front of an old typewriter. The crumpled paperback Buffy was reading the previous evening is on the table, along with a lot of pages of scribbled notes. A large tin of donuts is also on the table. DAWN enters, carrying a school bag which she dumps on the table. SPIKE Good day then, Dawn-bit? DAWN [sighs] Remind me why Math is something I want to study. SPIKE [reaching into the donut tin] One donut plus one donut is one Dawn happy. DAWN One plus one is one? That's not Math. That's like...unmath. SPIKE [sarcastically] Yeah, very subversive. DAWN takes a bite of both donuts at once and a trail of jam runs down each side of her mouth. DAWN [in jokey vampire voice] So, vee haff how many victims today, o fanged one? SPIKE That's it. Laugh at the vampire. DAWN Let me see [reaches across and turns the typewriter round to face her]'Hallowe'en Horror on the Hellmouth - another grisly tale from bestselling author William Blood'. [She looks around at the pile of notes on the table] That's a lot of work for one not very inspiring title. We didn't get round to any actual deaths today then? SPIKE Lay off the creative process there. This baby is keeping you in house and home. And donuts. Talking of which, Bit-some, we have to get on and make dinner before your sister gets home. INT. SUMMERS' HOUSE - EVENING BUFFY, DAWN and SPIKE are sitting around the table, eating dinner. BUFFY is poking her food around the plate with a degree of caution. DAWN Oh, mind out, the potatoes are still hot. BUFFY [looking down at her fork] This started life as a potato? SPIKE [Changing the subject before Dawn can reply] So you have the vamps all to yourself this evening, then? BUFFY Yep, it's just me and Mr Pointy tonight. Will says things are pretty quiet. SPIKE Well they are. In places that aren't Sunnydale. BUFFY [smiles] Well, chances are I'm not going to meet anything that a quick one through the heart isn't going to sort out. She settles her knife and fork down on her plate. DAWN OK, marks out of ten. BUFFY Hmmm. OK. Marks-for-not-being-or-in-any-way-resembling-a-burger: ten out of ten. Chef appeal: definite ten. Eleven if you would spill sauce down your own tops and you, sir, would wear those not unsexy reading glasses. Services to the potato community: shall we pass on that one? EXT. SUNNYDALE CEMETARY - EVENING VAMPIRES 1, 2 & 3 (as seen in the building earlier) are sitting in the cemetery playing cards and drinking whisky. BUFFY (OS) Sorry to break up the party...[she appears on screen, again wearing Spike's coat, and walks slowly up to them]...but I could do with a little vamp action. She punches VAMPIRE 1 who immediately punches back. Buffy and the three vampires fight and after a series of punches and kicks have been exchanged, VAMPIRE 1 grabs Buffy by the throat. As he leans in to bite her VAMPIRE 2 also approaches her from behind. BUFFY [to Vampire 1] I think you'll find it's never quite that simple. She head butts him and he falls to the ground. She immediately spins round to face VAMPIRE 2 and thrusts the stake towards him. She lets out a yell of pain and drops the stake. VAMPIRE 1 [getting to his feet] No, you're right. It never is. He lunges towards BUFFY again but she ducks and he collides with VAMPIRE 2. BUFFY picks up the stake again and is about to relaunch her attack when she looks down at the stake in horror. VAMPIRES 1 & 2 watch her reaction with amusement. Meanwhile, VAMPIRE 3 has crept up behind her. BUFFY [to VAMPIRES 1 & 2] What are you looking at? She suddenly turns, ducks, and grabbing VAMPIRE 3's ankles throws him into the other two vampires. While they are all getting to their feet, she runs to safety. VAMPIRE 1 [Calls after her, still catching his breath] We'll be back, Slayer. BUFFY stops to examine what is left of the stake in her hand. It is badly blackened and the bottom half appears to have burnt away. Her hand is inflamed and she grits her teeth in pain. She shakes her head in disbelief and puts the stake into her coat pocket. INT. SUMMERS' LIVING ROOM - NIGHT SPIKE is sitting on the sofa watching TV. The sound of the front door opening and shutting is heard and BUFFY enters. She looks tired and a little subdued but smiles across at Spike, and, removing The Coat she is wearing as she walks across the room, curls up on the sofa beside him, leaning her head against his chest. SPIKE [Lifting his hand sleepily to stroke her hair] Tough night? BUFFY Pretty much. How was Dawn? SPIKE Chirpy. And very insistent on the entire Coal Bin Chronicles before bed. BUFFY Oh, that Dawn. What did you do with I'm-way-too-old-for-a-babysitter-Dawn? SPIKE You know how it is. Donuts came, she left. BUFFY There were donuts? How come I always miss the donuts? SPIKE suddenly notices her hand. SPIKE You're hurt. BUFFY What? Oh. Just a souvenir of a Sunnydale knees-up. All part of the slayer package. SPIKE says nothing but takes her hand between his and gently unwraps the rag she has hastily bound it up in, rewrapping it carefully and more neatly. BUFFY Spike. SPIKE Slayer. BUFFY I need your help. SPIKE Now you're talking. Go on. BUFFY OK. There were vamps out there tonight that wouldn't dust. I went to stake one and it...it's like...like it was repelling me or something. You should see what happened to the stake... She reaches across to where she has put down SPIKE's coat, and puts her hand into the pocket. She winces in pain again, and withdraws her hand looking frustrated. BUFFY I don't believe this. It's not even there. What is this? It...it was like it started to burn up in my hands. Looks like it finished the job on the way home. SPIKE Vampires with a don't-dust-me clause and spontaneously-combusting stakes? Sounds like fun. BUFFY Good. Then you're in for tomorrow night: the sequel? SPIKE You know me, Slayer. I got your back. I've always got your back. BUFFY [smiles, and puts her other hand over his, threading her fingers through his] It's a date then. SPIKE On one condition - BUFFY Anything. SPIKE You wear your own bloody coat. BUFFY [smiling up at him] I love y- SPIKE [teasingly, imitating her in Crush] Don't! He puts up his hand to stop her in a mock gesture. SPIKE [provocatively, savouring the moment] Don't say it. She laughs, taking hold of his chin with an equally exaggerated gesture and forcing him to look at her. BUFFY [In exactly the same tone of voice as Spike in Crush] I ... love you. SPIKE [raising his eyebrows] Oh yeah. BUFFY [Taking hold of his face between both her hands and leaning in closer towards him with each few words] Just ... give me something...a crumb ... a barest smidgen ... tell me - maybe, someday, there's a chance... SPIKE: [Putting his finger over her lips] Oh, there's a chance, Slayer... End of Act I Act II INT. SUMMERS' HOUSE - BREAKFAST BUFFY and SPIKE are sitting opposite each other at the table. SPIKE is holding a vaguely 'S'-shaped piece of toast in one hand and is reading a large, heavy-bound book, on which he has balanced a number of similar toast shapes. He has the 'kiss the librarian' mug from Something Blue in front of him. BUFFY has an empty plate in front of her and is drinking a mug of coffee. DAWN is over by the kitchen island, with a pile of toast, cutting out shapes. BUFFY [to Spike] What would Giles say if he knew you were using the Demon Anthology as a toast rack? SPIKE Nothing compared to what he'd say if he knew what happened to the Chains of...ow! [he breaks off as Buffy kicks him under the table] DAWN comes over and places one of her toast shapes on Buffy’s plate. DAWN There you go. B for Buffy. BUFFY That's a B? What are they teaching you in school nowadays? DAWN sits down next to SPIKE as the sound of the front door opening and shutting is heard and XANDER enters XANDER Hello Dawnster! Buffster! And em...Spikester. SPIKE raises an eyebrow. BUFFY Xander. Come join us. We have coffee and personalised toast from the Dawn Catering Empire. DAWN [reading over Spike's shoulder] Ew! That is disgusting. Why do demons have such icky eating habits? BUFFY and SPIKE exchange a look. DAWN I mean, why aren't there like, donut demons or something? BUFFY [to Spike] Any joy? SPIKE None. Not a word about non-stakeable vamps. XANDER They are making them non-stakeable now? Since when? BUFFY Since last night. We had a small problem getting stake and vampire on speaking terms. XANDER That is so weird. Even the master of all vampires takes a rain check puff-of-smoke-wise when you stake him. BUFFY [smiling across at Spike] He does? I thought that was a 'Drrrucula' exclusive. XANDER [not getting it] That's who I...what? BUFFY [Changing the subject] Anyway, Xander, we need your help. Spike and I are going to check out this non-stakey-vamp phenomenon tonight, so would you and Anya be able to come and keep Dawn company? I know you're already doing the lift-to-school thing today, but - XANDER Hey, say no more. Mrs Harris and I would be delighted to hang with the Dawnster. DAWN [to Buffy] Spike's out with you? You mean I have no bedtime story? XANDER Well I don't have a...em...colourful history like Spike here but hey, I am married to the twice ex-demon. I'm sure I can muster up - BUFFY [interrupting] Xander you start mustering in that direction and I will see to it that you never work with children or animals again. DAWN [infuriated] I am not a child! SPIKE That would make you the other thing then...[wicked glance across at Buffy]...runs in the family. XANDER Hey, mustering. How come he gets away with it? BUFFY ignores them both and returns to the subject. BUFFY We'll meet you in the Bronze this evening then. Thanks, Xander, you're a star. Isn't he Dawn? DAWN I do not need a babysitter. BUFFY I know that Dawnie, but someone has to watch the kitchen. INT. BRONZE - EVENING The camera pans across the dancefloor where DAWN, XANDER, ANYA and WILLOW are all dancing. We move across to where BUFFY and SPIKE are shooting pool. SPIKE Look, I've been thinking. We need information here. I could try asking around but most of my fellow demons don't see me in a friendly light nowadays. BUFFY [potting a ball and walking round the table] You are so kidding yourself. Like they have ever seen you in a friendly light. She goes for her next shot and narrowly misses. She hands SPIKE the cue. BUFFY Your cue. SPIKE OK, here's the plan. [He sets up the shot] Odds are these vamps are new in town, and I'm willing to bet they'll show here sooner or later. [He pots the ball, the last of his own colour] So, what say I go introduce myself, see what I can find out? [He sets up to play a long, difficult pot on the black.] BUFFY Is that wise? What if they know who you are? SPIKE Sometimes you have to take a risk to win, Slayer. He plays the shot and pots the black, winning the game DAWN [approaching the table] Nice shot. BUFFY [getting out her wallet] I am going to buy this man a drink. SPIKE [holding out the cue to Dawn] Dawn? DAWN OK, I'll play, but no letting me win. BUFFY Dawn, trust me, he has never let you win. SPIKE Hey Goldilocks! Beat you, didn't I? BUFFY [smiling at him] I guess every now and then a girl meets her match. BUFFY walks towards the bar as SPIKE and DAWN start their pool game. Cut to SPIKE, BUFFY, DAWN, WILLOW, XANDER and ANYA a little later on, sitting round a table having a round of drinks. XANDER [looks at his watch] Time for us to get going. You ready, Dawn? DAWN nods and gets up to leave. WILLOW [holds out both her hands] Hey, me too. Either that or I'm home alone and that could lead to late-night chat session with Giles or other such sordid pursuit. ANYA [in surprise, as she and DAWN each take one of Willow's hands] Giles? But Will, I thought... XANDER [interrupting] OK, stop that thought. And may I suggest that on the way home you call on the expertise of Willow, Dawn and myself to answer any remaining queries you may have about subtle and not-so-subtle facial and tonal cues that indicate when somebody is joking. SPIKE Yeah, like you're the expert on jokes. WILLOW Boys, boys. XANDER What's up, Will, changing your tune? ANYA Hey, that was a joke. See? I get jokes. DAWN Buffy, I am going to take these people home now. BUFFY [smiles] I think it's for the best. After saying their goodbyes DAWN, WILLOW, XANDER and ANYA leave. BUFFY and SPIKE remain sitting at the table. SPIKE Come on. I can feel it, Slayer. You know you want to dance. BUFFY [softly] Say it's true. Say I do want to. They both get up and walk over to the dance floor without talking. They hold each other and dance. BUFFY Spike. SPIKE Mm? BUFFY Just...take care. He holds her closer. Suddenly SPIKE breaks away. BUFFY What? He indicates with his head to where VAMPIRES 1, 2 & 3 have entered and walked over to the bar. VAMPIRE 1 wipes his mouth with his hand before taking a swig of his drink and there is a glint of red blood on it. SPIKE Thought I could smell new blood. He presses BUFFY's hand in his own briefly and walks towards the bar. As he does so some kind of argument ensues between VAMPIRE 1 and the barman. VAMPIRE 1 throws the glass across the counter and he and the other two vampires get up and walk off. SPIKE follows at a distance, watched from the dance floor still by BUFFY. INT. DILAPIDATED BUILDING - NIGHT VAMPIRE 1 is sitting at a table, drinking whisky. He is in conversation with VAMPIRE 2, who is standing nearby. VAMPIRE 3 is pacing around the room and seems agitated. The dark outline of SPIKE can be seen in the doorway. SPIKE [Walking into the room, cigarette in one hand] 'Evening all. VAMPIRE 1 Who are you? SPIKE Bloody hell. [Shifts to game face and with a sudden movement grabs Vampire 3, spinning him round and pinning him against him across the throat] Do you have to ask? [throws Vampire 3 to the floor] Thought I had some kind of reputation round here. Vampire 3 starts to get to his feet and looks ready to launch himself at Spike, but Vampire 1, who appears to be the leader of the gang, intercepts. VAMPIRE 1 We're new in town. Spike acknowledges this with a half nod. VAMPIRE 1 So who are you? What do you want? SPIKE sits down in the vacant chair and pours himself a drink. He holds out the bottle towards VAMPIRE 1, who shakes his head. SPIKE takes a sip of the drink before replying. SPIKE Alright. Word's got round. They say you got cosy with the Slayer and came out on top. Thing is...[He takes a drag on his cigarette]...that's usually my job. VAMPIRE 1 You're saying you've killed a slayer? SPIKE puts down the glass and leans in towards VAMPIRE 1. SPIKE I've...[leans back in chair]...had a few slayers in my time, yeah. He takes another drag of the cigarette VAMPIRE 2 But not this one. SPIKE This one's tricky. He picks up the glass again and takes another sip. SPIKE So, way I see it, you and me, we can help each other out here. VAMPIRE 3 We don't need your help. SPIKE No? Well the offer's there. Think it over. VAMPIRE 1 [thoughtfully] He's right. The girl is tricky. [turns to Spike] So what can you do for us? SPIKE OK, Slayer Fact the First. Girl likes an early night. You want the slayer, you try again tonight, you're wasting your time. VAMPIRE 2 What, you're saying all a vampire has to do round here is wait until the Slayer knocks off and you're all free to come out to play? SPIKE The Slayer knocking off is not something the average vampire round here gets to experience. The girl's pretty thorough. She gets to pack up early because she's packed the vamps up earlier. Only the best hang around to tell the tale. You, for instance. Me. So, what's your secret? VAMPIRE 1 What's yours? SPIKE Girl can't resist me. Always up for the fight, that one. And she knows she's not going to get it any better than me. So she can never quite bring herself to do it. Doesn't want the dance to end. VAMPIRE 1 [smiles] Good, but ours is better. Just how long have you got? SPIKE Long enough...as long as you don't mind me trespassing for the footie highlights a little later... The three vampires all look blankly at him SPIKE What, you don't have satellite TV? INT. SUMMERS' HOUSE - NIGHT Focus in on DAWN, curled up on the sofa, reading a book. Off screen we can hear laughter, shouting and a rather frantic mechanical noise. XANDER (OS) [with his mouth full] Dawn, these cookies are great. The camera pans out to reveal XANDER, ANYA and WILLOW playing Hungry Hippos [a game involving catching marbles in the mouths of mechanical hippos] on the other side of the room. ANYA Dawn, these cookies are great up until you hit tomato. Both XANDER and WILLOW nudge ANYA to shut her up, causing her to lose her grip on her hippo. ANYA Hey! That's not fair! My hippo has been after that marble the whole game! EXT. SUNNYDALE CEMETERY - NIGHT BUFFY is walking through the cemetery, keeping a look out around her for anything that might be happening. Looking ahead, she stops. She is standing at the entrance to Spike's old crypt. Smiling softly to herself as if remembering something, she presses her hand up against the doorway and slowly traces a line downwards. Suddenly, she is grabbed from behind. End of Act II Act III |